The very thought of dating a single mom fills some guys with absolute dread. There’s a whole comic stereotype of a guy grinning with desire at a young, beautiful woman, only to turn on his heels and walk in the opposite direction the moment he notices she’s carrying a child or pushing a stroller. Who wants to deal with all the added baggage that comes with a girl who has a kid to worry about?
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But I’ve got to say, guys, letting this question shut down the entire conversation is a narrow-minded move. There is definitely a reason we have a “MILF” acronym (whose meaning I’m sure you’re familiar with) – as noted, some single moms are incredibly hot.
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Looks aside, though, I’ve found that having these girls in my life can bring some tremendously positive benefits, and it’s an experience I think every guy should have. So let’s look at what it takes to attain, and talk about how to date a single mom.
Single Mom Dating – The Brood Factor
There’s a huge popular misconception that all single moms are miserable, impoverished, and above all, desperate to find a boyfriend to provide for them and help take care of their kids. Sweet Thanos, I wish it were that easy!
Kidding, kidding. Anyway, while I’m sure there are some women out there who fit that general description, most of the single moms that I’ve personally met are actually doing fine and are basically happy with their lives. They certainly aren’t bringing strange guys home just to have a man in the house. More than that, though, they aren’t even seeing every man they consider dating through only this imagined lens of prospective fatherhood. Dating a single mom isn’t a job interview.
Now, let’s look at the other side of that coin. This woman has kids; it would be silly to think they aren’t going to factor into the equation that calculates your worthiness as a mate. Your girlfriend isn’t necessarily going to think about them in relation to you from day one, and they will be far from the only thing that enters her mind when she considers you, but they will make their appearance. You’re dating a MILF, bro, it comes with the territory; it just isn’t the entirety of the ground on which you stand.
All of which, my boys, basically boils down to: Yes, your value as a potential father figure will be taken into account. Obviously, the extent to which it will be looked at depends on individual circumstances, not the least of which being the relationship of the kids to their biological father. I can’t imagine how to date a single mom without her children and your ability to deal with them eventually coming into play, can you?
Single moms tend to size-up a dating partner primarily based on his skills with children. If you hate rugrats, you need to reconsider your MILF dating desires.
It’s a winning strategy with just about any woman (for evolutionary reasons) to show her that you’re good with children, and to avoid saying or doing anything which might suggest the opposite, but that goes roughly triple to the power of googolplex for mothers. This means that any opportunity you get to engage with kids around your girlfriend is potentially a golden one. They don’t even have to be hers.
So be friendly and kind to them no matter how much of an insufferable little deuce they’re being. You know the drill: Help them with their homework (if that somehow comes up), gently correct their grammar and spelling, play sports with them, all that good stuff. The more of it you can do without being too obvious, the better when dating a MILF.
MILFs and Their Exes
By the way, you guys remember my mentioning that the kids’ relationship with their biological father partly determines how heavily your own proficiency with children will be weighed? If it wasn’t clear, that suggests the kids might be spending a lot of time with him, which could very well mean that your girlfriend will be as well.
This is a highly individual condition that may or may not apply to you at all when dating a single mom, but if it does, you’ll need to make your peace with the fact that you’re seeing someone who still hangs out with her ex. Precisely how much depends, again, on the individuals involved, but it can be anything from five minutes a week when she drops the kids off to see their father, all the way up to literally still living together (I’ve seen it).
A single mom got her children from someone, and the likelihood that the gentleman responsible will be continually involved in her life is good. Be prepared for that.
Needless to say, you don’t get to be jealous, and you don’t even get to be suspicious. The bottom line is that if she and her ex are in a good place, anything you say or do to interfere with their co-parenting their children will have you out the door faster than the Flash after downing a venti espresso, so make sure this is something you’re nice and cool with. Whatever you do, don’t simply assume that the father is out of her life unless she tells you he is.
The Single Mom Landmines You Need To Watch Out For
For that matter, there are rather a few assumptions we should avoid making when dating a single mom. Seriously, guys, these piss them off worse than Darth Vader when the batteries in his light saber run out. For one thing, don’t assume that your girlfriend’s kids being home means she can’t see you. It can make her feel like you think she’s a slave to the little tykes, permitted little or no social life.
Maybe she’s willing to have you over to her place (with no hanky panky that night, obviously). Maybe she can get a sitter. Who knows? You don’t want her to think that you’re avoiding her, especially because of the kids.
Just give her a few days or so of advance notice if you do want to have a date when you know the terrorists will be in (“Hey, wanna hang out this weekend?” as opposed to “Hey, wanna hang out tonight?”). That way, if she doesn’t mind finding a sitter, she’ll have a much easier time doing so.
On the other hand, while we’re talking about going to her place, don’t assume that she wants to introduce you to her kids right away. If she’s only gone out with us once or twice, then frankly, she doesn’t know if it’s gonna last. And it can be harmful to children (I’m told) to meet and start getting attached to a male “stepfather” figure who ends up washing out. Don’t push that one; let her decide when it’s time to torture…I mean, “bless” you with her kids.
Now, maybe you’re dating a MILF and things go pretty well, and you get to see her naked. Don’t assume her body is going to be “battle scarred” by the fact that she’s given birth. This really comes down to genetics, her fitness regimen, and other factors.
MILF bodies vary wildly. I’ve seen women with three kids who look like virgins in the nude, without a stretch mark on them — and I’ve also seen gals with one kid who look like the newborn must have been the size of a fully-grown Jabba The Hut.
Oh, and for crying out milkshakes, man, don’t try to “compliment” her on how good she looks “after having kids” (yes, I know guys who have done this). ‘ssamatter with you?! But if the physical appearance issue is a big one for you, the best way to find MILFs for dating purposes is to approach them on cam sites, so you can check them out fully before you move in. There are TONS of single mom cam girls, and yes, you can cultivate them for dating, if you know the tricks. I explain everything here.
So there you go, brothers, a few dos and don’ts on how to date a single mom. Apply some game, avoid the landmines, and have some fun!