Today we’re going to be discussing the holy grail of heterosexual masculinity, the unobtanium of our gender, and the very stuff of which wet dreams are made: dating strippers! If you’re anything like I once was, this is a mere unicorn to you, a fantasy that is beautiful to believe in but could never exist in reality. You have enough trouble getting regular women, you tell yourself, and strippers are an order of magnitude harder to land.
Well, my brother, it’s certainly true that successfully dating strippers is a very different battle to fight from scoring a girl at the library, but it most definitely can be done, and it’s not sublimely difficult when you know how to go about it.
Right here, I’m going to teach you how to date a stripper using a few powerful and quintessentially simple techniques, and I’m going to impart to you a “secret weapon” maneuver that makes the entire pursuit far easier and boosts success rates through the roof. Ready? Let’s go!
Let me start with the obvious: this is about dating strippers, not hooking up with them. The strategies you would use to get a dancer into bed for a night are in an entirely separate category. Moreover, the simplest of these “strategies” would be to just pay the girl for a romp in the VIP room; most of them will be happy to take you up on the offer for the right price. But if you do any of that, your relationship will never progress beyond sex. Which is fine if that’s all you’re after, but again, we’re lookin’ for love in this guide.
Who wouldn’t want to have a stripper as a girlfriend? All those curves, all those moves…and all that skill with “poles.”
Talking to strippers isn’t tough. In fact, the good ones know that being easy for men to talk to is a mission-critical part of their job; they’re the girls who will walk right up to your table after their dance and sit on your lap. You just need to know what to say, and more importantly, how to say it. You gotta have “game”, bro.
Not to go all Zen/Jedi on you, but the real battle to be won here is in your own mind. It’s about how you choose to portray yourself to the stripper, and how she perceives you. You don’t want to be yet another random douche who “compliments” her on how amazing various parts of her anatomy look, while trying to be all slick about occasionally sneaking in a grope. That’s the kind of thing women only enjoy, more artfully done than most strip club patrons can manage, from men they already like.
Strippers, by contrast, have to put up with it from strangers all night long, which is downright dehumanizing if they let it get to them. So, they don’t let it get to them; they simply write you off as “another perv” and concentrate on their primary mission, which is to get as much money out of you as possible.
Not behaving this way requires willpower from most men, simply because they know they can get away with it in a strip club. But if you want anything beyond a forced smile when you grab a handful, heed my words: Eye contact at all times, hands by your sides. Especially if she’s topless.
Some people think that the best way to win a stripper’s favor and get her to warm up to a closer relationship with you is simply to shower her with cash. While that may seem at first like an intuitive approach, these people do not in fact know how to date a stripper. It’s certainly true that the girl will act friendlier and more flirtatious if you’re paying off, but it’s just an act. It runs you into the same problem I described above: you become a mark, if for a different reason, and she goes into “making money” mode.
Of course you should give her a little something every now and then while she’s talking to you; she’s at work, after all. But keep it to $1’s and $5’s, and not so frequent that she begins to think you’re trying to buy her affection. You’re paying for her time, sure, because you’re considerate enough to understand that she has to make a living. But liking you and trusting you — these are steps you don’t need to pay her to take. That’s the mindset we want her to have.
Continuing in that vein, do not “buy” anything from her. Don’t ask her for a lap dance, and if she offers you one, fix her with a slightly sad smile and reply “I’d rather just talk to you, if that’s alright.” This rejection must immediately be followed by giving her a bit of money, $5 or, in this one scenario alone, perhaps $10, because any stripper is going to reflexively feel a little disappointed when they fail to sell a dance, and begin to wonder whether they’re wasting their time. The cash softens the blow and reassures her, without making a purchase that, again, effectively changes your name to Mark.
Similarly, don’t offer to buy her a drink. I know it feels natural and even manly to treat her, and surely she would appreciate a gesture that she might well be shown in any regular bar, right? But I have never met even a single stripper who really enjoys this. Why would she? She’s just going to order off of an overpriced secret menu that you never get to see, and the bartender is going to serve her a watered-down blend of fruit juice.
Remember that, as a club patron, you’re initially seen by the dancers as a way to make money. Don’t let them tag you that way, it undermines the goal of getting close.
It’s how savvy strippers avoid getting drunk at work (how many guys do you think make her this same offer every night, champ?), while still taking advantage of a chivalrous male instinct to generate revenue for the club. In other words, it’s a fleece. It’s a way for her to dip into your pockets, and yep, I’m afraid it’s yet another “business transaction” landmine. Don’t step on it.
Rather than committing any of the above game-ending blunders, try being a conventionally “nice guy”. Now, it’s true, under normal circumstances this is actually terrible advice for getting women interested in you. But strip clubs in general and dating strippers in particular are not normal circumstances.
These girls deal with men who treat them like crap every day, and rather than find it sexy or assertive, they’ve trained themselves to view those who do it as sad, lonely guys who can’t even see a live woman naked without paying for it. They go to work expecting to see the “Top Dog Alpha Male” card played and overplayed, because every man turns into Schwarzenegger when the girl they’re with makes her living by taking it. They’re on guard for it.
Now, here’s where things get a bit tricky. Strippers are also on guard against the occasional patron who tries his luck at being the decent, boyfriend-material man who doesn’t objectify her and sees her as a human being. Basically, strippers interact with some very cynical people, and they’ve learned to become very cynical in turn. In a lot of ways, it’s a classic “Where is the Poison?” battle of wits situation: both cups are deadly. The solution is not to drink too deep.
At no time when applying “game” is it ever a good idea to play a fawning, Romeo-esque sycophant who hangs on a woman’s every word, can’t wait to spend every penny he owns on her, and is obsessed with knowing every detail about her divine life. Women just don’t respond to it, or at least, so few of them do that your chances of enjoying success with this approach are statistically nil. Strippers are no exception.
Show some interest in her, but not too much interest. With exotic dancers, you’ve got to walk that fine line and stay on it.
With that said, however, when talking to a stripper, it is helpful to show a degree of measured interest in her daily activities. Avoid painfully cliché questions, however, such as her favorite TV shows, her hobbies, or the meaninglessly nebulous “what kind of girl are you?” You’ll do much better with subtly flattering queries, like asking her what she’s studying in school.
That’s right, you’re just assuming she’s in college. If you turn out to be wrong and she wonders why you thought that, you can make an easy saving throw by explaining that most strippers you’ve met are smart enough to stay away from student loans and use the job to pay for their education.
Other questions that imply a respect for her intellect, such as what she thinks about current geopolitical tensions with China, or her opinions on various philosophical issues, work just as well. The point is, you’re showing (not telling) her that you don’t think of her as a disposable slut like 99% of the men in the room do, without making yourself look worshipful and pathetic in the process.
The REAL WAY to Learn How To Date a Stripper
Some people enjoy the face-to-face experience of doing all this in the club, though I have to tell you, if you just want to know how to date a stripper successfully, the answer is to go online. How does that work? Pretty simple, actually: you visit a cam site.
Cam girls are strippers, bro. I’m not just pointing out the obvious fact that the jobs are similar, either: I’m informing you that in North America, the UK, and Australia, at least half (often more) of women who work as cam girls also dance in strip clubs. That means that for any cam girl you talk to, you’ve got a 50% chance or better that she’s also an exotic dancer! This is the unknown gold mine of dating strippers: you can find them, easily, on the internet!
The cam site is the best thing that ever happened to awkward guys who fear approaching hot girls. It’s a dating training ground without equal…but it’s also much more than that.
The best part is that cam girls have a completely different mindset while camming than strippers do, even when they are also exotic dancers. My working theory is that it has to do with the great distances involved online, and the complete absence of touching and other physically aggressive behavior from men.
But whatever the cause, your average cam girl is far more relaxed and less guarded than the same girl might be in a strip club, removing the need for many of the special tactics and minefield navigation techniques I just outlined. While most strippers seem to be wary and even resentful of men, or at least of male strip club patrons, cam girls tend to be downright warm and friendly people – and it’s not an act! When you date a stripper (like I have), you learn how jaded they can be in the club; and how perfectly normal they are everywhere else.
Minus their drive to earn your tips (something they share with strippers), cam girls are basically like most women in the ways they interact with and respond to you.
For that reason, the best thing you can do when trying to win over a cam girl is to signal yourself to be a “high value male”. This means making a girl believe that you possess as large a number of attractive qualities as possible, without (and this is exquisitely important) being seen to brag about them. Remember: show, don’t tell.
Finding strippers on cam is easy. Just look for the room tags “stripper” “dancer” “poledancer” and “exotic dancer”.
You might mention to a girl that you “need to hit the gym for leg day” pretty soon but can stay until the end of her performance, signaling that you’re a fitness buff, or just like to maintain a buff physique. Or you could apologize for how little time you generally have to be online because of the demands of your business, which tells her you’re financially secure and have a solid work ethic.
None of this stuff needs to be strictly true, of course. You can fake it ‘til you make it: in the event that all goes well and she becomes your girlfriend, these little white lies you told to impress her will be the kinds of things the two of you will laugh together over someday.
Displaying “high value” is a tried and true “game” tactic. It’s a subtle way to make yourself stand out and become more attractive to your target mate.
At this point I can hear my exasperated reader screaming at his monitor: “What the hell, Woody?! I thought you were gonna help me get a girlfriend! You started off alright talking about real strippers in actual strip clubs, but now you want me to whack it to a bunch of cam girls? What gives??”
Ah, but you misunderstand, my brother. Online is only the beginning of your journey. Because these girls are open to getting to know you on a personal level, it is far easier to forge genuine relationships with them as compared to the strippers you meet in a club setting. From there, the sky’s the limit, with our goal obviously being the arrangement of in-person meetings.
And if you think that sounds pie-in-the-sky, sorry man, but you’re wrong. Since cam girls are so relaxed and willing to give you a chance (that you would have to fight for in a strip club), it actually happens all the time. I’ll even go so far as to say that if you troll the right cam sites long enough with an eye toward setting this up, it will happen to you before long. You simply need to know which models to invest your game in.
Most guys are shocked when they find out how common it is for cam girls to meet their “regulars” in real life. It happens ALL THE TIME.
Stay away from the established cam models when you’re just starting out…they tend to be too professional, and it’s basically all business with them. Not that they’re un-gettable, but it requires a bit of sophistication and some suave maneuvers that will be beyond you at first. Instead, hit the NEW models — the girls who are totally new to camming and are a bit out of their element. They tend to be super open and willing to schmooze, especially if you can help them learn the ropes on the site (and they’ll be tagged as a “New Model” by the cam site, so you’ll know who they are).
Pick a girl you like and examine her profile, so you can figure out what she’s into. Bonding over a common interest is a deadly effective way to establish a relationship with someone, so if you see that she’s into any of your shit, talk to her about it! If there’s nothing in common, but you really have to have her, then shoot your ass on over to Wikipedia and study-up a bit about her biggest interest. Then, just talk her up over it and she’ll be intrigued for sure.
If a model’s profile is empty or sparsely filled out, ask questions about her interests in the public chat area. Probe about what she’s into.
From there, you just need to be funny and helpful. Girls absolutely LOVE guys who make them laugh, so test a few jokes out on her and see what tickles her funny bone. Tickle it as often as you can, and don’t worry about bombing — it’s ridic easy to recover from a bad joke when it’s just your username on a screen. Pick up and move on — it’s no biggie at all, and she won’t care a bit, trust me.
Find out her schedule and keep going back to hang out in her room when she’s on cam. She’ll love that you’re there to support her (new cam models often have trouble getting enough viewers in their rooms). Keep hitting those common interest topics, keep cracking jokes, and keep helping her with the site. Before long, she will get really comfortable with you.
At that point, you need to make your move. If you keep your interactions with her to just talking and bullshitting, she’ll eventually come to see you as a “good guy” and…a “friend.” Yep, the Friend Zone exists on cam sites too, chachos. You’ll get snagged into it if you keep up with all the platonic friendliness…so you’ll need to start getting seriously sexual now, before her image of you as just a “supporter” cements in her mind.
Best way is to take her into a “private show,” which is where you get a one-on-one video chat session with her that can get as raunchy as you want it to. Cam girls and exotic dancers are generally super into kinks and fetishes of all kinds, so my best tip for you here is to discover her most intense arousal factor and concentrate on that (you should have been able to tease that info out during your past chats). Whatever she’s into, focus there and give her the time of her life. Make her emit sweet, guttural moans of online ecstasy.
The Private show is a uniquely powerful way to romance a cam model. Its one-on-one intimacy allows for incredibly deep bonds to be formed, which can lead to real-world relationships.
The more I use this tactic, the more amazed I get at how absurdly easy and effective it is. Cam models and strippers are women — and women LOVE men who can make them cum hard! You can do it online just as easily as you can in person (the keyboard can be an extremely effective g-spot stimulator) — and when you nail it, she’s yours!
After a few private sessions with you, you’ll likely have the opportunity to get much closer to her. She’ll probably give you her phone number for texting at first (but that will quickly turn into voice convos, if you want it to), and she’ll also most likely signal a willingness to “meet up” at some point, to get to know you better. Believe me, things can get real deep from there on out.
The best thing about this method is that, since her image of you is set and cemented BEFORE you meet as a result of your online behavior, it doesn’t matter how dorky or geeky or awkward you may be in person. She’ll always see you as that cool, sympatico guy who knew just how to make her explode into dreamy orgasmic bliss. You will have already passed her filters and achieved the status of a potential boyfriend.
Best Sites For Dating Strippers
I just need to give you one important warning before you get too excited and jump in with both feet: please, for the love of Elon, know exactly which cam sites to use before you go looking for your new stripper/camgirl significant other. There are so many awful ones out there, you could easily get suicidally depressed if you choose poorly.
There are only two camming sites I recommend when you want to go fishing for your stripper girlfriend: Chaturbate, and MyFreeCams. Not only are these two the largest in the business, which helps attract the hottest ladies, but just about all the other cam sites out there suffer from one critical flaw: most of the girls they host, for whatever reason, are Eastern European or South American.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I raise no objection to getting real friendly with a nice Romanian or Colombian girl; some of them are seriously hot. The problem is that a majority of them, due to the prevalent living conditions in their countries, lack the privacy necessary to cam from their own homes.
Cam girls from certain foreign countries usually work for studio bosses who prohibit any meetups with cam site members.
As such, they must work in “webcam studios” under bosses, and those bosses nearly always enforce a strict rule: never meet the customers. Getting them to violate this prohibition is nearly impossible, and even if you succeed, you’re left to manage the migraine headaches of arranging passports and paying for intercontinental transportation. Not a lot of fun.
Save yourself some heartburn, brother, and stick to girls from your own country. They can easily be identified by examining their profiles, or by finding them through the cam site’s country tags.
Okay, so that’s the way you date a stripper without making a complete ass of yourself. Smart guys do it this way. If you want the “Chad” method, then just hit the gym for four hours per day, get a dick implant, and sell a kidney so you can rent a Ferrari for a couple weeks. That should be enough to impress the girl you’re after.
Or, maybe just use my method.