While men have certainly talked about it, debated on it, and even killed each other over it for thousands of years, the basic principles that define how to get a hot girlfriend are not sublimely complex. Frankly, a bigger issue is made of them than is deserved.
In our modern day and age, I notice that especially men who are unsuccessful at dating hot girls tend to imagine that their way is barred by some inscrutable, unsolvable mystery, perhaps to divert blame from themselves and avoid having to actually get good at the game.
Because that’s what we’re doing when we chase women, my brothers. We’re playing a game. It’s an unfair game, one that in many ways is stacked against the better share of us, and simultaneously extremely painful to lose. But a game it is, and games have rules. Learn them, and whether the playing field is even or not, you can win.
Today I’m going to teach you those rules, and I’m going to show you how the 21st century has made this game easier than ever for those of us who have not been gifted by nature to play well.
Remember the “G” word, because one of the things I like to tell my guy friends who ask me how to date hot girls is “you gotta have game”. But what does that mean? More than anything, my brother, game is a state of mind. It’s an attitude you have when approaching and talking to women you want to date.
It’s about knowing that you are interesting, well-liked, and a winner without needing the validation of any particular female, leading to the confidence and assertiveness that females like to see.
In order to play this game well, you’ve got to understand how women think…especially how they think subconsciously.
When assessing a given man as a potential partner, women unconsciously (or, oftentimes, consciously) consider his SMV, or “Sexual Market Value”. This is simply a measure of how desirable a man is based on a variety of factors, and it decisively informs the level of attraction a woman then feels towards him.
Your game strategy has to focus on convincing the girl that you have a high SMV (with the fact of whether or not you actually do being beside the point). Please note that while your physical attractiveness, mostly ascertained by facial features and body fitness, is a relevant factor to your SMV, it is only one of many. It isn’t more important than any of the others, and it can be easily drowned out if you have a lot of other things going for you.
I’ve had so many guys tell me that dating hot girls is a lost cause for them, simply because they’re overweight or have an ugly nose. This is like thinking that you can’t run, anywhere or at all, because you don’t own a pair of athletic sneakers.
Other considerations women will make about you include your level of financial success, social status, and personality. Your appearance touches on these only insofar as it informs judgments about them. For instance, wearing nice clothes with a clean shave and cropped haircut indicates that you work as a professional and probably have a comfortable amount of money.
Long hair and copious tattoos or piercings suggest a rebellious, assertive temperament. All of these are positives and will generally help your perceived SMV, though personally I think there are better ways to appear assertive, especially since all the hair and body modifications tend to detract from the other factors.
When talking to a woman, you want to maintain eye contact at all times and wear a slight grin. Ask about her and don’t talk about yourself unless she asks, avoiding cliches (anyone who still tries to break the ice by asking “what’s your sign?” desperately needs to be ground into bottom-shelf dog food).
Show, but do not tell, that you have a high SMV. Instead of saying “I have a great job at a law firm and deserve a hot girl like you,” try “My partner at the firm is giving me a lot of headaches this week, so I’m glad to be able to relax with someone like you.” Rather than “My bank account is huge and so am I,” go with “My bank is annoying; they keep calling and e-mailing me to confirm my large purchases.”
Displaying “high value” is a delicate art. Don’t just proclaim that you’re hot shit, make subtle allusions to attractive characteristics or features about yourself.
Use “preselection”! This is the psychological principle of women feeling heightened attraction toward men who appear to be successful with, or have been “pre-selected” by, other women. The idea in a woman’s mind is that if other women like him, then there must be something there that I should like, too.
This principle is hotly denied by many women when it is brought up to them. It has also been scientifically proven. So ignore their denials, and for the love of God, don’t ever talk to them about preselection. Just use it.
The most direct way to exploit preselection psychology is to drop a “show don’t tell” remark bluntly implying your success with women. References to “this girl I dated last week”, “my ex-girlfriend who I just broke up with”, and “my pack of female friends” all work. Preselection doesn’t necessarily require that your other women want you sexually, but anyway, nowadays the term “friends” can include recurrent booty calls.
This is a rather indelicate approach, however, and it’s a little risky because many women have gotten wise to the strategy and may grow suspicious when you start talking this way. In my experience, it’s much better to simply bring an actual female friend along with you, and be seen hanging out with her.
If you don’t have any such friends, they are remarkably easy to make. Finding a hot girl friend is far less challenging than finding a hot girlfriend, which itself isn’t the most complex feat in the world.
In any event, even if you arrived estrogen-free wherever your target girl is, you can always just visibly talk to another female in the room. You don’t even have to lay your game on her, if it helps you relax. It’s perfectly fine to spend an hour talking to her about the latest images from the Mars lander, if she’s into that, and when you’re finished, you’ll have accomplished two things.
First, you’ll have been seen spending all that time in the company of a beautiful woman who seemed to enjoy herself — and second, if you didn’t have a female friend before, you probably will now.
Traditionally speaking, that’s more or less how to get a hot girlfriend. It certainly still works, though something that I’ve found in our modern day and age is that the internet has been a massive game-changer.
Meeting women online is far easier, and far less intimidating for most men, than actually approaching one in person. It’s coming into the mainstream nowadays, and flying out to see people you initially contacted on the internet is downright common.
How To Use The Internet To Find a Hot Girlfriend
Right off the bat I’m going to say that if you think I’m now going to recommend various dating sites, your intuition is bad and you should feel bad for thinking it. Those sites are a mess. Some of them are genuine scams, to the tune of staff members actually creating fake female profiles to convince male customers they’ve got a better shot there (this has been repeatedly covered in the press, as many of these sites have been caught doing that red-handed).
All of them are mostly men, and what women are to be found there are less than ideal partners for one reason or another. Finding a hot girlfriend on one of these monstrosities is a losing proposition. Just don’t even try.
Dating sites are a romantic mirage. They typically don’t offer the women you want, and the women they do offer are often just fake and manufactured by the site itself.
One solution that is both cheaper and more effective is to utilize social media. Facebook is my favorite here because it allows for long, in-depth conversations on a variety of issues that maximize interpersonal sharing between people.
Twitter is also very good, since people often don’t have patience for all of that and will pay far more attention to short blurbs of text than they will to nuanced and thoughtful posts. There is serious potential in both cases, and dating hot girls met via either site is extremely doable.
The standard approach is to pick a few targets (no need to limit yourself to one!), then get into the habit of commenting on their posts. Try to make your responses reasoned and insightful, contributing to an overall conversation on the subject at hand, with the occasional throwaway one-liner so you aren’t too obvious. Avoid sycophantically yes-ma’aming everything she says; women see through that like a freshly windexed sheet of glass, and it’s pathetic anyway.
Express your opinions more or less genuinely, and if you feel the need to criticize hers, do it in gentle language and explain rationally why you believe as you do. Some women will appreciate this, while others won’t, but it’s easier than maintaining separate personas for every girl you talk to (which wouldn’t hold up, once any of them started reading your other posts).
In the end, the ones it doesn’t work on are merely the reason you’re diversifying by engaging with several prospects.
Facebook in particular is an ideal venue for practicing preselection tactics. Any girl you Friend there, assume that she is at some point going to peruse your profile. Keep it neat and heavy with information about your ambitions and accomplishments, real or tastefully embellished, and maybe leave off the part about your Friday-night Smash Bros tournaments (some things we have to keep to ourselves until we’ve got her, guys!).
Most of all, however, post plenty of pictures of yourself surrounded by as many beautiful women as possible. Again, if you have female friends, ask them for a solid here. If you don’t, you really should make some, but you’ll be fine here regardless.
Approaching women wearing extravagant, expensive-looking dresses in public places and asking them to take a picture with you is not an unusual thing to do, and most will find it flattering. The worst thing that can happen with any one is she says no, in which case you dust her off and move on to the next.
Preselection is one of the most tried and true game tactics that exist. It’s a form of “social proof” that signals to a desired girl that you’re highly valued by competing females.
And when you get a yes, that picture you bring home to Facebook isn’t of a random stranger you met on the strip. No, now it’s “my buddy’s sister who spends more time with me than she probably should,” or “my very good friend Kate.” You guessed it: we’ll leave the reader to figure out exactly what is meant by “very good friend”.
Pictures of you with groups of girls are also more than fine; you can concoct an explanation of circumstances if you like, but just being seen with that many females is enough to trigger preselection bias in your desired girl’s mind.
The biggest obstacle I’ve run into when using social media to meet girls is the wariness of my targets. In general, women are guarded against men to varying degrees in different environments. They may be relatively relaxed at, say, a child’s birthday party, while the many walls of Constantinople couldn’t match their defenses in a night club or bar (which is why these places are actually not ideal hunting grounds, contrary to popular belief).
Social media sites definitely lean toward the latter category, at least when it comes to being approached by strange guys. It’s not that they’re going to immediately write off any man who tries to be friendly with them, but there will always be an incessant voice in the back of their minds wondering whether they’re being hit on, and anything you say to them in that voice’s presence is liable to be viewed through such a lens. These sites most certainly can yield good results; they simply aren’t ideal.
Dating a Hot Girl From a Cam Site
Thus far, the best option I’ve found for meeting girls online is cam sites. These are, essentially, online stripping websites, where girls sign up to work for tips performing on webcam. The content of their shows is up to them, subject to certain restrictions that vary from site to site.
Best of all for our purposes, they’re free to contact and be contacted by their viewers privately, and while they normally broadcast in a public channel that’s available to anyone for free, they can (and usually do) give private shows to individual, paying users.
There are a number of reasons why cam sites present a golden opportunity to meet hot women online. First and foremost, we couldn’t ask for a better attitude in our targets than the one these girls generally have.
Unlike most strippers I have known, I’ve never befriended even a single cam girl who secretly resents her customers and is only using them to make a living. Cam girls don’t even seem to have that persistent guarded mindset I mentioned about women on social media.
It’s as if their knowledge that the men they engage with are indeed there for overtly sexual reasons kills their uncertainty, and rather than causing them to shut off entirely to advances, this knowledge simply allows them to relax. They know you’re there to get off, and they can make some money helping you do that, but once that’s done they’re perfectly open to the possibility that you’re a decent guy!
Talking to cam girls is also both fun and rewarding. You can use the social media strategy of choosing several targets at a time, and even if you don’t end up intimately close to any of them, you will almost certainly make a few good, genuine friends who just so happen to be hot girls you get to see naked.
And there’s no overstating the value of the experience you’ll gain from laying your game on them. You’ll be practiced and more confident doing the same with women in person even if, again, nothing comes of it on the cam sites. But the fact is, if you keep at it, something probably will.
Chatting up cam girls is actually a GREAT way to train yourself for physical dating and pickups. You get experience talking to hot girls, and you learn a LOT about what works and what doesn’t.
As I mentioned, cam girls work for tips, so it’s ridiculously easy to get your foot in the door: just slip her a bit of green. On cam sites, you do this by buying “tokens” for real money, then giving the tokens to girls at your discretion.
A tip worth a few dollars is perfectly acceptable, and will garner appreciation. You can try to stand out as a “big spender” and give more, but in my experience it’s better not to do this with a cam girl, because she’s likely to conclude that you’re simply trying to buy her affection.
You’re actually better off using modest tips on a consistent basis. This will cause her to see you as a “regular”, and any good cam girl knows that her regulars are the lifeblood of her business. She will be extremely friendly and receptive to you, which swings those castle gates wide open.
Talk to her, get to know her, and build a real friendship with her. Use a common interest to bond with her over, which is one of the most effective social tools for building trust and likability. You’ll be surprised at how interested in you she becomes.
You’ll also be amazed to find that she’s not faking it; if the two of you hit it off, she will actually like you. She’ll smile when you message her, she’ll be eager to have a conversation with you, and if things go well, she’ll eventually want to give you her e-mail address or even her phone number so you can keep in touch when she’s not working.
These cam sites are a real revolution, fundamentally changing how to date hot girls, and ultimately how to get a hot girlfriend. Of them all, I most recommend using Chaturbate and MyFreeCams, because those are the most heavily-trafficked sites and, as such, have the largest number of high-quality cam girls.
Other sites tend to go heavy on the non-western models, which is fine, but those girls’ geographical distance from Western men and obedience to the studio bosses they work for present enormous challenges to eventually meeting them in person.
Long-term, you save a lot of headaches just sticking to Chaturbate and MFC. You’ll be able to easily find models in your country by using the tags on each site, or the main search engine on each site’s homepage.
As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, it’s best to concentrate your efforts on the new models (which are labeled thusly on the cams listing), since the established cam girls can be a bit difficult to get close to, due to their popularity and to their “all business” attitudes.
Newbie models, on the other hand, tend to be very open to having deep chats, and will especially appreciate any help you can give them in learning the ropes on the cam site. It will pay for you to learn how things work and be willing to teach the new girls. They will adore you for it.
When you grow a real friendship with a cam girl, you’ll find that she’s usually very willing to meet in person, which is something that many, many cam models do (which I can attest to, from personal knowledge).
Sometimes they’ll only meet at industry conventions, but they will often agree to meet-up with you for dates, as well. Again, when you’ve built a real relationship with one of these girls, they will see you as a potential boyfriend, not simply a cam site regular.
So, there it is. I’ve just let you in on a bit of “red pill” internet dating knowledge that could change your life, if you choose to apply it. Trust me, this stuff works, and it can work for anyone, geeks and nerds included (even incels, actually). Everybody wants to date a hot girlfriend, and with today’s technology, it’s actually a possibility for just about any dude. Enjoy the romance, my friend!