If Chester Cheetah thought that being cheesy was the pits (whatever happened to that ad campaign, anyway?), he obviously hasn’t confronted dating problems from a geek’s perspective. It ain’t easy being nerdy, bro. I know whereof I speak; my Friday nights used to alternate between D&D gaming sessions with the guys and monthly Smash Brothers tourneys at a local arcade.
RED ALERT: Nerds have unique dating problems, so I’m going to explain exactly how to score hot girls if you’re a downright geeky dude.
I should point out that I still indulge in both of those activities, though nowadays I try to keep my Fridays clear for the sorts of things I never used to do back then: finding girls, be it for a fun evening or because I have a deeper itch that can only be scratched by an actual girlfriend. But making that leap was anything but easy, and when the gang and I were slaying ogres rather than scoring some strange, you couldn’t have paid me to give it up for women.
That’s because role-playing is actually fun, while to my mind of the day, talking to girls was terrifying, humiliating, and destined for failure. It’s easy for me to sit here and tell you past-tense that I just got off my homely ass and did it, but what did overcoming my dating problems actually entail? Strap in, friends, because today I’ve got some dating advice for nerds.
The Real Reason Nerds Suck at Dating
The main reason nerd dating is so hard is because the people who would consider attempting it are inexperienced at and thus intimidated by it. I’m not saying there’s no actual difficulty involved in charming girls, as there decidedly is. But the lion’s share of this challenge comes from within, particularly because no matter how abysmal your success rate may be on the prowl, if you only try for long enough, it will eventually be better than 0% – which is all you get from allowing fear and insecurity to keep you from the effort. You miss all the shots you don’t take.
Simply going by chance, you’re likely to score at least some of the time. So, maximizing the number of shots you can take should be the priority.
Successful nerd dating requires you to cultivate your “inner game”. This is, of course, a nuanced process, but it begins by overcoming that toxic voice in your head telling you that you can’t win at this. Get in there and start talking to some girls, and you’ll have already won this most crucial battle. But once you’re on the hunt, you don’t want to be nattering on about the weather and your exotic toe fungus; you’re going to need to know how to handle yourself.
One of the most common problems faced in nerd dating is the deeply-held belief that most men treat girls like crap, and that if they themselves merely act a perfect gentleman, showing the utmost respect and consideration at all times and being the consummate doormat for femininity, women must surely appreciate them and will breathe an enormous sigh of relief at finally finding a “nice guy”.
The only correct assertion in that is the notion that men often display a certain degree of dismissiveness and even coldness towards their girlfriends; everything else is nonsense. Moreover, there’s a reason guys behave that way. While it is an oversimplification often used to comic effect to state that “women like it when you treat them like crap” (obviously there are some lines you mustn’t cross), they do have certain expectations of the men they view sexually or romantically.
Generally speaking, they are attracted to men who are strong and assertive, who have chosen the women they want and are coming to get them, but who do not by any means “need” those women. When you’re talking to a girl, she doesn’t want you to fawn over her and act like she’s the most precious thing since the stars began spitting out gold. It’s seen less as sweet and more as, you know…pathetic.
Instead, be confident around her. Don’t glance around nervously; look her in the eye when you’re talking to her. Keep a non-silly grin on your face and lean against something casually, so you look comfortable rather than stiff. Avoid folding your arms; it’s a defensive gesture.
Favor probing statements over interrogative questions. Search for common interests, but don’t admit to exceptionally geeky hobbies. Show an interest in her without going overboard. And most importantly, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work out with a particular girl! You are going to fall off the horse; you need to get right back in that saddle and keep riding.
Nerd Dating Using Cam Sites
I’ve found that the best places to apply your game are parties and other social functions organized by friends. Gathering spots like bars and clubs are too cliché; the girls there have their guard up. But I have to share with you one of the most powerful gems of dating advice for nerds that I’ve come across, and that’s to practice your technique on cam sites. Bro, I promise, you will be amazed at how ideal they are for this.
Cam sites are not commonly considered to be good spots to find a girlfriend, but that’s because so few people really understand what goes on behind the scenes. Cam girls actually tend to get VERY close to their most devoted fans.
If you aren’t familiar with how cam sites work, they are basically just websites where regular girls go to broadcast on their webcams. Typically (though not always), they put on nude and sexually explicit shows, earning tips from the audience as their income. This part is key; because they don’t get paid by the cam site, that business doesn’t care how many girls it has working there. In fact, the more the better. As a result, the bigger cam sites (Chaturbate and MyFreeCams are the top dogs) are positively swarming with cam girls, so you’ll never run out of prospects.
These cam sites are, essentially, boot camps for nerd dating. All you have to do is log on, buy some “tokens” (site currency, used to tip the models), and browse around. Watching the shows is totally free, so you can be as picky as you like in selecting the girls you’re interested in. Then, all you have to do is start tipping them. It’s not even that much; the equivalent of $10 per girl, a few times a week, for a week or two, will do fine.
This will get your foot in the door for the cost of a single real-life date, and you won’t have to deal with all of the dating problems that would ordinarily accompany that (such as the girl “being busy” the next time you want to see her). For such a modest outlay, you will become known as one of a girl’s “regulars”, and that’s a wonderful place to be.
Cam girls are very, very nice to their regulars. As her regular, your girl will pay attention to what you say in the public chat, she’ll answer your private messages, and she’ll do it all with a smile and a chipper attitude.
Cam sites are loaded with girls who have geeky interests, too, so you’ll be able to bond over Spiderman, Minecraft, or even quantum physics. The best part about it is, none of this is fake. These really are just ordinary girls trying to make a living, and unlike some other adult entertainment workers (like, let’s say, strippers), they actually appreciate their customers.
Unlike other sex workers, most cam girls tend to be very approachable and are generally quite open to forming strong bonds with their clientele.
They’re so grateful to you for helping them make ends meet, that they’re happy to talk to you on a human level, and see where it goes. You can talk to them, get close to them, and even arrange to communicate off-site (texting, Skype, etc). For their favorite regulars, cam girls will very often agree to meet up in real life; this happens all the time, my brother.
Really, if you keep at it long enough, that will happen for you too, This is why cam girls are such a great way to practice nerd dating: you can sharpen your social skills with women, free of so many of the dating problems you’d otherwise experience, and when things don’t go well, it’s on to the next for the cost of a single date.
New cam girls sign up constantly, so you could live to be a thousand years old and always have more beautiful women to talk to. That’s why this works so well…you’re maximizing the shots you can take through the roof. It’s very scalable.
Do yourself a favor and train on these cam sites, bro. You might just hit it off with someone early and not need to go any further, but either way, you’ll ready yourself for the battlefield conditions of talking to women in real life. This is so worth it, I can’t stress it strongly enough. Build that inner game and watch the magic happen!