Tinder first launched in 2012, and the concept behind it was simple: You’re more comfortable approaching someone when you already know that that person likes you too. While true, I personally think the relative anonymity of the internet helps a lot with that as well.
Anyway, whatever the cause, Tinder is huge today, with people reacting favorably to its ease of use, its iconic “swiping” system (right to like, left to dislike), and its use of networking with other popular social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. Of course, what everyone loves even more than all of the app’s nifty features is the fact that it can get you laid with very little effort or bother. Hooking up on Tinder is the way of the 21st century.
RED ALERT: This hookup guide will reveal all the best tricks to getting laid on Tinder. If you’re thinking of trying to reel in some hotties on the popular app, this is a must-read.
But it’s all about game, my bros. Knowing the correct strategy to follow makes the difference between filling your schedule with daily or near-daily dates, and mindlessly right-swiping every woman your phone shows you before texting “hey wat u doin” to whatever few matches you get. And yet, the necessary steps are so easy, and nearly effortless to implement. So stick with me, compadres, and enjoy the wisdom in this Tinder hookup guide.
Basics of Hooking Up on Tinder
The most important part of the whole Tinder shebang is choosing the right picture for your profile, because that’s what’s going to get your matches. Say it with me now, this does not – Does Not – mean that you need to be built like Mr Olympia, or that you should lie and use a picture of an actual Mr Olympia for the profile. You don’t, and you shouldn’t.
Tinder is full of guys who have (or claim to have) perfect six-packs, and for the most part, women really don’t care. They’re interested in making an actual Match, here, so it’s better to use pics that tell a story about you and your personal interests.
You do, of course, want to look your best, but it’s much more important to have something intriguing in the image. Pick something you’re into that girls might pause over and think “now that’s appealing”, and use a well-groomed picture of yourself doing that. Non-geeky hobbies and outdoor activities are ideal for this.
Interest in outdoor hobbies generally comes off as “adventurous” to most women, so if you enjoy fishing, hiking, bike-riding, or anything else out in the open air, put up some pics of you doing that.
You’re also going to need a good description in your profile. Here, the two most common mistakes are hastily throwing in one or two unremarkable lines (if not leaving the space completely blank), and penning a novel longer than Dickens’ finest. Both are excellent ways to spend yet another evening with your hand and a box of tissues.
We want this to be short – without looking like you simply don’t care – and we want it to be gripping and to-the-point. One paragraph of moderate length is all you need, two if you positively must.
Something like the following, in your own words, will go far:
“Your time is valuable, so I won’t waste it. The name’s Bob. I play football, keep up with the news, and have a weakness for woodland hikes. Sam Harris is where it’s at, but I enjoy the literature of a number of fine intellectuals. Furthermore, if you enjoy listening to music and sampling different kinds of food, you and I are going to get along just fine.”
Look at all I did in a few lines. It’s short, so the viewer won’t get lazy and be dissuaded from reading it. It catches the eyes of any woman who’s into physical fitness and cerebral pursuits, without turning off those who don’t necessarily look for such traits. The sentence about music and food is a freebie, because every human being on Earth is interested in those things.
And finally, I haven’t said anything I can’t back up: I don’t actually play much football or go hiking, but I can if a girl wants to (though I highly doubt the football claim will be tested). The only bit that’s variable is the part on literature; personally, I can hold a conversation on that subject, but if you can’t, just swap it out for something you’re all about.
When you get a match (and using a good profile picture alone will have you drowning in them, never mind the description), it’s up to you to make first contact. But for the love of Zelda, don’t use that asinine example I cited earlier, or any of its insufferable cousins. What, are you deliberately trying to sound exactly like the other fifty men who messaged the same girl in the past ten minutes?
To Get Laid on Tinder, Get Noticed
Hooking up on Tinder is all about standing out, my buds, because your competition is plentiful – but not at all bright or creative. They also don’t come off as – I’ll be brutally honest – particularly literate. So simply using proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar will put you miles ahead of the crowd right there.
But “Hey, what are you doing?” still isn’t a good opening line, so let’s dig deeper. One fairly basic strategy you can use is to read the girl’s profile, then include details from it in your message. Remark about her interests, the neighborhood she lives in, or the TV show she likes. This makes you stand out because it shows that you took the time to learn some simple facts about her, and that you aren’t just copy/pasting the same canned greeting to a million girls.
You need to show that you’ve actually done your research into the Tinder girl’s interests. Women love it when guys take the time to learn about them.
This isn’t a difficult step to take, but I’m telling you guys, you’ll instantly be in a minority of less than 5% of her potential suitors who takes it. I’m fairly convinced that more than half of all guys on Tinder just say “Sup” in their first message. Thinning the herd ain’t hard.
Of course, there are other approaches to take. Anything that forces the girl to work her mind in a fun way will be effective, because she will have to stop and pay attention to our message rather than any of the others.
More: Snapchat Hookup Guide
An oldie but goody paradox might work: “If you cross the street by jumping immediately to the halfway point, then step over half the remaining distance, then half again, and again, etc, you will never actually reach the other side. Yet you do this each and every time you actually cross a street. What gives??” This one used to confound the ancient Greeks to no end. We’ve since found a mathematical solution – does your girl know it?
Full disclosure: If she does, I might have to steal her from you. Nothing personal, bro.
Sound too nerdy? Try optical illusions; everyone loves ‘em. Just google up a few good ones, then pick your favorite and send it as your opening message, along with a line about how it bends your brain in half every time you look at it. A wide range of intriguing pictures will do the trick, actually. And, sorry, unsolicited pictures of your junk do not qualify as “intriguing”, no matter how much you may beg to differ.
Contrary to popular “bro” belief, sending pictures of your penis to women is generally NOT appreciated. The vast majority of women are actually repulsed by the sight of the male genitals.
Come to think of it, that’s a good general rule for hooking up on Tinder: Keep it G-rated. Seriously, guys, you could not possibly ask for a domain in which women are more strongly expecting you to try to have sex with them than Tinder. Their guard is up for that, so anything you say or do in a sexual vein makes you look particularly desperate and unoriginal.
That means no dick pics, no bragging about your sexual prowess, and no asking them about their kinks. Again, that’s what every other drop of water in your girl’s personal ocean of attention is doing. Rise above the ocean, my friends, or drown in it unremarked.
Alright, here’s Woody, your faithful Tinder hookup guide and master, signing off. Keep these tips in mind, amigos, and you’ll be amazed at your results!