For all that I talk about the importance of having game and using it to pick up women, be it for a night of sex or an indeterminate period of dating a steady girlfriend, I really have nothing against masturbation. Sometimes you’re home alone without an actual woman close to hand, and you either don’t have the time or simply can’t be bothered to go and find one. Yet you want to get your rocks off, and that’s alright.
RED ALERT: This review will reveal all you need to know about the Fleshlight Launch teledildonic sex toy for men.
So long as you don’t succumb to the insidious conviction that you don’t have what it takes to get real sex, and that taking care of yourself is the best you’re every going to get, I’m fine with whacking it. And being a nerd who loves him some science and technology, I’m definitely fine with using the latest innovations to help you do just about anything you would normally do, including pleasing your pecker.
Recently I came across just such an invention known as the Fleshlight Launch, which I admit first amused me, but then struck me as intriguing and fascinating. I should disclose that I have not personally used this product, so my observations can’t come from personal experience, but after thoroughly familiarizing myself with it and digesting various testimonials from actual users, I feel that I may have something to contribute in writing my own Fleshlight Launch review.
The Fleshlight Experience
First, a primer for those who may not be familiar with Fleshlight toys. Fleshlight refers to a line of male masturbatory aids marketed by Interactive Life Forms. Available in a number of different models to suit various aesthetic tastes, the Fleshlight is essentially a cylindrical sleeve that fits over the penis, with an interior designed to approximate the feel of a live woman’s vagina.
The original Fleshlight sex toy has been used for years by the internet’s horniest. The brand has become a trusted name in the world of simulated freaky deaky.
It is held in the hand and manually pumped up and down while penetrated by an erection, stimulating the user presumably to the point of orgasm. As you’ve probably guessed, the name “Fleshlight” is a play on words, calling to mind the realistic “flesh-like” sensation of the inside of the sleeve, as well as referencing the flashlight, an obviously unrelated device which shares its general shape with Fleshlight toys.
As I’ll discuss in my Fleshlight Launch review, the product we’re looking at today is a teledildonic device that aims to take Fleshlight toys to the next level. Simply described, the Fleshlight Launch is a housing mechanism into which existing Fleshlights are inserted and secured. The Launch then automates the work your arm used to have to do, pumping the sleeve upon your penis with hands-free ease.
An array of buttons and a handy touch strip allow you to control the frequency of the strokes, as well as the intensity of vibration in the sleeve. Being a collaboration between the Fleshlight manufacturer and teledildonics producer Kiiroo (yes, with two I’s), the Launch is compatible with most, though not all, Fleshlight toys currently on the market.
Let me be clear on this, because it confused me a bit at first, and I don’t wish to mislead anyone. The Fleshlight Launch is not, in itself, a Fleshlight. It does not include the masturbatory sleeve into which your penis is inserted. Rather, it is designed to connect with a Fleshlight and automatically manipulate it for you. Think of it like one of those pistoning machines that plow the girls in the “robot” genre of porn: the device’s action will cause the subject to be penetrated, but you still need to provide a dildo.
I don’t mean to belabor this point, I just know it would be disappointing to receive this thing in the mail, eager to play with a new toy, only to realize it can’t do anything for you without an additional component you don’t have. In order to use the Fleshlight Launch, you’ll need to acquire your own Fleshlight.
Fleshlight Launch is a Teledildonic Sex Toy
So far, I’ve only been talking about the Fleshlight Launch’s manually controlled stroking and vibration functions, which fall under the toy’s aptly-named Manual Mode. But remember when I said the Fleshlight Launch was a “teledildonic sex toy device”? Well, this wouldn’t be much of a Fleshlight Launch review if I didn’t cover the full extent of this bad boy’s capabilities, including the Interactive Mode. So strap in, because it’s about to get real.
The Fleshlight Launch’s Interactive Mode is where this thing really starts to sound seriously cool. By all reports, the function is simple to set up: you establish a bluetooth connection between the Fleshlight Launch and your smartphone, and by use of a downloadable app, you’re able to link up the Launch with certain online pornographic material. Once you’ve lubed up and slid in, you’ll find that the device is actively responding to the action on the screen.
A dick slammed into the girl in the movie translates to a corresponding stroke to your own member, a recorded naked blonde bouncing on some dude’s lap is felt through very real vibrations, and so on. This would remove the predictable mundanity of self-directed masturbation, where you make all the decisions and consequently know what to expect.
The key feature that makes the Fleshlight Launch toy unique is that it interfaces with porn videos, so you can feel like you’re part of the debauchery on screen.
Interfacing with a porn video brings you one step closer to simulating actual sex, when you never know exactly what the other person is going to do. That’s pretty sweet in itself, but for an even more immersive experience, the Fleshlight Launch is also compatible with VR goggles. It’s not Star Trek’s holodeck, but we’re getting there, people.
At launch (if you’ll pardon the pun), the Fleshlight Launch could only interact with videos found on feelme.com, which has an admittedly limited selection of material. More recently, however, PornHub has begun offering media compatible with the device’s Interactive Mode. Given the sheer enormity of PornHub, this should guarantee a virtually limitless supply of Launch-playable content moving forward.
Physically, the Fleshlight Launch is formidable. It’s slightly taller and a bit narrower than a professional-standard football, which could make discreet storage a bit of an issue. It’s worth noting, however, that when no actual Fleshlight is attached to it, there’s nothing obvious to give away the machine’s functionality or purpose. If you’re feeling bold, you could theoretically keep it in your kitchen and try to pass it off as a coffee maker when your buddies come over. Just pray none of them asks for a cup of espresso.
Balancing off its imposing dimensions, it seems the device is surprisingly light, weighing in at just 3 lbs. This is probably for comfort’s sake, as it’s ideally designed to sit in your lap without even needing to be held in place while it works.
So that’s that. I hope my humble Fleshlight Launch review was informative, or at least stimulating of curiosity. As I said, I definitely find this thing intriguing, as the inexorable march of virtual sex is greatly interesting to me. I’m very much considering picking up one of these just to see for myself how far we’ve come. Should you decide to give it a try, I wish you many hours of automated interactive bliss!
Click Here to check out the Fleshlight Launch!