I sometimes wonder, beyond what one can glean from dispassionate historical accounts, what sex was really like in the past. The image we most typically get when we think about it is pretty bland: In most cultures, a majority of people married one person of the opposite sex and got to work making babies as quickly and voluminously as possible.
In some places and times, sex was very explicitly not done for pleasure and never for recreation; almost always, fun was secondary to the primary goal of having kids. There are certainly documented examples in the past of various kinky sex stuff that was clearly for enjoyment, to be sure. Generally speaking, though, the evidence indicates that sex has been a pretty vanilla, missionary-only affair.
RED ALERT: Sexual kinks are exploding right now, so I’m going over the most popular and most outrageous kinky sex stuff people do in bed. You perverts need to pay close attention to this one!
Nowadays, that’s all changed, and people are always looking for new kinky things to do in bed. I’m sure some of that is due to the paradigm shift in the practice of sex itself, which in the modern age is done for pleasure at least as often as (and certainly a great deal more than, among certain demographics) for reproduction.
But I’m going to lay most of the “blame” (with quotations used because this ain’t a bad thing, bros!) on the interconnected nature of our society, and the ease with which new ideas on just about anything can be communicated. Yeah, I’m pretty much talking about porn, here.
To be sure, porn has been with us literally since we were crudely etching X-rated images onto the walls of caves. And personally, I love the fact that there’s an explicit sex scene to be read within the freaking epic of Gilgamesh, one of humanity’s earliest written works, for cryin’ out loud.
But never before the advent of video has porn been so lifelike, and never before that has it so frequently dared to explore so many sexual kinks. The fact that such porn exists means that people have always had a taste for it, but its ready availability surely acts to legitimize it and spread its domain of interested people.
Top Sexual Kinks Currently
Of course, the “go-to” fetish when one imagines kinky sex stuff is almost invariably BDSM. It’s a bit of an umbrella term, as it really does encompass a wide variety of sexual play, but I think it can be fairly defined as sex practices between people who enjoy a power imbalance in their relationships. There’s generally a Dominant partner, who’s in charge and gives the orders, and a submissive, who does as he/she is told or risks punishment.
Naturally, the punishments are usually part of the fun, and can range from a light spanking all the way up to some pretty severe torture. No points for guessing that as this particular fetish gets more intense, a degree of sadism is generally required on part of the Dominant, and at least a matching caliber of masochism for the submissive.
Like most sexual kinks, BDSM is utterly unintelligible as a source of pleasure to those who don’t enjoy it (or think they wouldn’t), and needs no defense for its fans.
I mentioned it was an umbrella term, and I won’t go into every sexual practice that could possibly be considered a facet of BDSM, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least mention Female Domination – “femdom”. This one is notable for its popularity among guys, as evidenced by its consistently ranking as one of the top searched terms on the porn tubes.
There are actually a lot of women who are into it too, though; a great deal more, in my experience, than most men realize. Femdom is a bit of an umbrella itself, and can potentially describe any kind of relationships or sexual kinks that put women in charge: Cuckoldry, financial domination of a man’s bank account (“findom”), and feminization of a submissive male can all be thought of as different sorts of femdom.
Femdom is one of the biggest and fastest growing sexual kinks right now. Men of all stripes seem to be into this fetish, from janitors on up to CEOs.
The foot fetish can also be part of femdom (worshiping a girl’s feet is pretty big), but if you’ll forgive the horrific pun, it more often Stands on its own. Actually, don’t forgive it, for I can never forgive myself for it. That was just bad. But anyway, feet.
Traditionally, a foot fetish has been defined as a sexual preoccupation with feet, almost as if they were a sex organ in their own right. The foot fetishist wants to touch them, taste them, and even enjoy their odor when freshly removed from shoes. If you want to get geeky about it (and what else are we here for?), there’s a similar but technically separate fetish called “aretifism”, which describes a sexual attraction to people of the appropriate sex who are barefoot.
In aretifism, the interest is in the naked vulnerability of the feet, rather than in the feet themselves. Yes, people have actually sat down and parsed these definitions. It’s sex, dudes; it’s not like there’s anything humanity has spent more time thinking about.
But of all the weird, messed-up kinky sex stuff out there that people engage in, the title of Most Hilarious has to go to the Blasphemy fetish. I swear to God (and there’s another pun!), I’m not making this up. Those with this kink get off on offending the sensibilities of a particular religion. Technically, any faith can be the target of a Blasphemy fetishist, but from what I’ve seen, Christianity is the most common victim.
Practitioners will pretty much do anything they were taught to never even think about in Sunday school: Shout obscenities about God, ejaculate on the Bible, or dress up as holy men and women before and during sex. Sometimes they aren’t just dressing up: I’ve seen guys online claiming to be priests, who say they love being blasphemous during the act.
Kinky sex can involve unusual practices, but it also often involves roleplaying controversial figures and topics. Blasphemy, student/teacher, boss/employee are all quite popular.
Alright, so it’s easy to laugh at that one. But it’s not really so hard to understand logically. At bottom level, I think what a lot of people are really turned on by is being “naughty”, and for those with religious upbringings, there simply isn’t anything naughtier than profaning God/religion. I mean, that’s got to be at least most of the reason why having sex in a church confessional is such a popular fantasy.
Personally, I have a policy never to judge kinky sex stuff, as long as no one is getting hurt. Well, unless they want to get hurt; it’s complicated with sex. Actually, I’m fascinated by the vast array of possible kinky things to do in bed, even when specific ones aren’t of particular interest to me. To that end, I’m utterly open-minded, and enjoy trying new things.
More: How to date cam girls…
I’m privileged in that regard, by the fact that I’m such a regular presence on cam sites. I’ve got to tell you guys, cam girls are some of the most laid-back, non-judgmental people you’re ever gonna meet. They’ve seen it all and are exposed to it often, so nothing is weird to them.
That has to be one of my favorite parts of the cam site experience: You can talk to a cam girl about pretty much anything sexual, and she’ll give you her honest opinion on it without revulsion. Most of them will even help you explore a particular fetish, if you’re brave enough.
I won’t traumatize my bros with the details, but I’ve had a few “exploratory” sessions with cam girls myself, and they’ve taught me a lot about what I’m really into. And make no mistake, amigos: Knowing yourself sexually makes you a better lover down the road.
Also, when you connect with a hottie over a shared kink, you can bond with her in a way that will allow you to overcome whatever shortcomings you may have. Yeah, it turns out hot women adore guys who are into their fetishes, and will overlook just about anything else they may dislike. Kink is powerful shit.