Small Penis Humiliation

So by now, I’ve yammered on about dicks a lot more than any heterosexual dude with a blog ostensibly aimed at other heterosexual dudes probably should. Nevertheless, my increasingly apparent latent gay tendencies aside, I’ve had and (I hope) continue to have a good reason for doing so. That being, I’m genuinely trying to help men with small penis issues.

As painfully easy as it may be to crack jokes on this subject, it really is a serious problem for a lot of guys. For better or worse (mostly for worse), many men derive the lion’s share of their self-esteem from the size of their hoodwinkle. And when they can’t measure up, or even when they merely think they can’t, the results can be emotionally devastating.

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Well guys, it’s official. There is a Guiness World Record for absolutely everything. I mean, I could accept the academic need to record certain physical anomalies like the world’s longest fingernails (over 9 feet each). Hell, I can admit I’m genuinely impressed by the dude who went the longest spinning a basketball on the tip of a toothbrush, while the brush was held in his mouth (22.41 seconds).

And you better believe I’m all about the record for the largest number of bikini-clad women photographed standing on a beach (1,010 of the lovelies!). But come on: Did we really need a category, ever, for the smallest penis in the world?!

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With exactly zero exceptions, all men worry about having a little dick. Even those who are significantly above the average size and know it, have lost more than one night’s sleep contemplating how unendurably miserable every aspect of their lives would be if they were a little less endowed in the manmeat department. If you’re a man, you either think you’ve got a little dick, or you secretly obsess over thoughts of the horror of having a little dick.

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It just occurred to me to wonder: Why do some guys stress out so much about their penis size? I mean, I know the reasons themselves: Competitiveness with the dicks of other men, fear of disappointing women with small penis sex, personal pride. But what are the reasons behind the reasons?

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Today, I thought we’d talk about “it”. You know, “the subject”. This is the ultimate measure of a man’s worth (no it isn’t), the single determining factor in whether he can sexually please a woman (hardly), and the final judge of his right to enjoy healthy self-esteem (oh please). As you can tell from the parenthetical snark, I don’t actually believe that dick size should be important to a guy’s image of himself, as I happen to know better.

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